"Today the world changes so quickly that in growing up we take leave not just of youth but of the world we were young in."Peter Medawar
|
| |
Alcoholism Intervention - 7 Typical Alcohol Abuse Intervention Steps
Alcoholism intervention or alcohol abuse intervention is the process whereby persons who care about the health and well-being of an addicted person come together to share their concerns about the addicted person's behavior. A small percentage of people ...
OxyContin Addiction: Doctors & Drug Lords
OxyContin is a narcotic drug, an opiate, that has been approved by the FDA to legally treat chronic pain. Chronic pain is documented medical condition, a progressive disease of the nervous system and spine that causes constant a patient to experience ...
Sports Betting Profile
Before you go out and blow all your weekly wages on sports betting there are a few things that you need to know about the type of gambler you are and how much is too much risk. If you can figure out which type of gambler you are you'll be sure to either ...
|
|
|
| |
The following article is offered for free use in your ezine,
print publication or on your web site, so long as the author resource box at the end is included, with hyperlinks. Notification of publication would be appreciated.
Title: Addiction to Perfection
Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com
Copyright: © 2005 by Margaret Paul
URL: http://www.innerbonding.com
Word Count: 727
Category: Self Improvement
Addiction to Perfection
By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
The following email was sent to me by Karen, a member of our website:
"For no obvious reason this morning, I was feeling anxious and depressed. I looked at it and realized that the false belief creating all this was that I have to be perfect in order for me to allow myself to feel happiness. Yet, there are so many conditions for me to be perfect that it is almost impossible to achieve. Still, I have driven myself to be 'perfect' sometimes and discovered it that the ensuing happiness lasts about 2 seconds and I am exhausted.
"Lately, procrastination is somehow wrapped up in this conundrum too. Maybe I don't even try things because I know if it's not done perfectly I won't value it anyway. Most of my life, my critically inspired drive propelled me to achieve some amazing things (including opening my own business in L.A.). Somehow, I feel that if I don't criticize and punish myself then I'll never go anywhere or do anything. Yet the truth is, right now, I'm not really productive. There must be another way!"
Needing to be perfect is a form of control. The wounded, critical part of us believes that, "If I am perfect (whatever that means!) then people will like me, love me, admire me, approve of me, pay attention to me, or validate me. Then I will feel worthy. I can control how people feel about me by being perfect." The need to control how people feel about us comes from making others responsible for defining our worth. The false belief is that if someone likes you, then you are worthy, and then you can be happy. But, as Karen said, "the ensuing happiness last about 2 seconds and I am exhausted." Trying to be perfect is exhausting and the good feelings are very short-lived.
In addition, having to be perfect in order to gain approval often leads to procrastination. The fear of disapproval and failure if you are not perfect can be so great that it stops you from taking the action you need to take. Judging yourself to get yourself to do things "perfectly" often backfires, leading to paralysis instead of creativity and productivity, as it has with Karen.
Karen states that, "There must be another way!" There is, indeed, another way - a much better way.
When you decide to define your own worth instead of handing that crucial responsibility to others, you will stop worrying about what others think and feel about you. The problem is that, for most of us, our parents and other adults defined our worth when we are young. Of course we saw adults as having the authority to do that. As we grew older, we gave our peers the authority to define us. But at some point, we need to shift from others having the authority to define our worth to our own higher, wise self or spiritual Guidance having the authority.
In addition, we need to shift from defining our worth based on external qualities to our worth being based on internal, intrinsic soul qualities. As long as your worth is based on performance, you will worry about results. But when your worth is based on your intrinsic qualities of caring, compassion, goodness, empathy, and joyfulness, then it is never on the line regarding your performance. This will free you to create and produce with freedom and joy, knowing that you can make all the mistakes in the world and still be worthy. Perfection never comes into the picture when your performance is a joyful expression of your intrinsic worth, rather than a form of controlling what others think and feel about you.
When you open to learning with a higher authority about your true, intrinsic worth, and embrace the beauty and wonder of your beautiful essence, you will stop thinking about perfection, and you will stop thinking about performance and what others think about you. You will know that you are already "perfect" in your essence, and that there is nothing to prove.
When you know your worth as intrinsic rather than based on your performance, life becomes so much easier and less tiring. Instead of your addiction to perfection immobilizing you, you are free to fully express yourself and manifest your gifts and talents. Expressing yourself creatively and productively becomes fun rather than fearful!
About the Author
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or margaret@innerbonding.com.
|
|
|
|
|
|
 W.Va. counties to launch 5 drug courts - Charleston Daily Mail
CHARLESTON, W.Va. (AP) -- Five new drug courts that will handle nonviolent offenders are scheduled to open across West Virginia this year. The new programs will serve Greenbrier and Pocahontas counties, and Kanawha, Cabell, Monongalia and Preston ...
Addictions May Be Easier to Overcome with Help from Harvard ... - Wiredpr News
A recent publication by Harvard University may be of assistance for those seeking to change addictive habits in the new year. Wired PR News .com – Harvard University has made available a new publication for those seeking to break bad habits. As ...
Stop Smoking in Three Sessions - EIN News
Have the gum, patch, and other contraptions failed to rid your vice? The reason is because it is a problem of the mind and not the brain. Stop barking up the wrong tree and get to the root of your addiction. MOUNT VERNON, NY, January 06, 2009 /24 ...
Ambrosia Substance Abuse Treatment Center Introduces New Therapy ... - Transworld News
Ambrosia Addiction Treatment Center announces the use of a new Ropes Course designed to help clients overcome addictions through physical activity and the building of self-confidence. This dynamic approach has been shown to enhance decision-making ...
WINEHOUSE SWAPS INCARCERATED HUSBAND FOR CLEAN-CUT HUNK - PR Inside
AMY WINEHOUSE seems to be putting her troubled marriage to BLAKE FIELDER-CIVIL behind her - after frolicking with a hunky rugby player while on vacation in the Caribbean. The Back To Black hitmaker escaped to the paradise island of St Lucia following ...
They won at losing weight - and so can you - Orlando Sentinel
If you're like most people, this week you've promised yourself you'll do better. You've sworn off the high-fat indulgences of the holiday season, and you're getting serious about losing weight. But the odds are against you. Last year, researchers at ...
Community News - Staunton News Leader
Recovery group plans program: Shenandoah Valley Teen Challenge will begin a nonresidential faith-based recovery program for individuals with substance-abuse problems. The 12-week program, which will begin March 2, will include biblically based ...
'Changed lives, addictions avoided' at heart of efforts - Evansville Courier-Press
This story contained in this column was told to me recently by a youth in our community. The story is true, but identifying details have been changed or omitted to protect the person's privacy. In this joyous season of gifts, family and friends, I ...
List of addictions growing to include video games? - Alpena News
The Internet and video game systems are huge sources of entertainment for millions of people worldwide. People spend hours a day at home, work and school engaged in, or thinking about, their hobby of choice. For many "users" the games can consume ...
Homeless families rise 22% in a year - Boston Globe
The number of homeless families living in Boston has jumped for the fourth straight year, making children without a home the fastest-growing group, according to results from the mayor's annual census. The Homeless Census showed that the number of ...
|
